स्टील डे One

Its still day one and I ma so excited I have somehow managed to set this up as I am blonde when it comes to technology but one child is sick in bed with tonsilitis and the other, who normally would do this sort of stuff for me has gone into town for the Boxing Day Christmas Sales( could you think of anything worse when its 38 Degrees out side!)
So, I couldnt leave the sick one on her own, so I had to find do something to do sitting inside and it wasnt going to be housework and just quietly between you and me I snuck out earlier whilst Izzy was still home and went to the 1115 session of Julia adn Julia and it got me thinking that by doing what she did and being ........ about it it might help me get over my two addictions if I find something else to do and after all my 7 years were just about up and I had only 16 months to go so .....I thought why the hell not.
I had written dot dot dot in the earlier papragraph as I couldnt remember the word but I just remembwereed it it was DISCIPLINE> something I never have been able to do or have but over the past 5 years reading numerous self help books, listening to umpteen bloody hypnotherapy tapes I was still in a terrible relationship and drinking far too much wine and I realised I finally have to admit that yes I do have a problem and I am not allowing myself to go to Kythira with any problems so something has to be done soon. By setting up my site I have put off opening a bottle of bubbles for boxing day by about 4 hours so that to me is a very very good start. I wanted to have a good drink as our Christmas Day festivities got cut short by my youngest daughter Tillys trip to casualty with headache vomiting and a temp of 39.7 so although she comes first I still felt like I missed out on some bubbles yesterday. And as for the relationship side of things leading up to xmas has been a disaster as we both dont make each other happy but you cant really break up at xmas. I tried to last week but he begged me not to F@**8 up his xmas like he reckons I did last year so I relented, yet again, as I felt so guilty (see the self help books hadnt quite worked as yet,and we are acting like the last 4 weeks never happened and all is rosy but its not and I dont nknow if he just pretends but is is just because he knows I have always taken him back over the past tumultuous five long bloody years. I am the idiot but until this year I havent had any self eesteem what so ever thanks mum.......not " at this grand old age of 47. But beware.. no one knows i have been trying to find it and I just about think I have and people probably arent going to like it as they are used to me trying to please everyone and in that took many an emotional beating which I decide this year I couldnt take any more so here goes... I am going to Greece. Well not now but in 18 months on the Ist of July 2011..and from here on is The Road To Kythira...........