बेक तो डे ओने अगेन

Was going to write yesterday but was too depressed so after an hour at the beach I came home and went to bed with a bottle of champayne and a valium. My boyfriend had bought me three presents for xmas all of which i already head. He had said he would book me inot a day spa or a trip to bali but i goe neither so after saying thankyou but i have them he went off to JB hi Fi and came to my house with the super bloody woofer cd player that looks like it should be in a monara or a bogan superb. Its great sound but i have a minimalistic house and like sleek lines and i was tired of making any intimate efforst towards thim so i spacked it and said I cant be trated like this. I mean if your partner cant love you and adore you and priase you and think your fantastic rather then keep throwing your mistakes in your face then who wants an enemy so i tucked into bed as work hadnt called and i listened to my self esteem tape and read Justin Heralds book Just Do It and that put me to sleep . I have to find my own happiness so today I went for a walk along three beach and a early swim with my walking partner and then went to the gym and did a step wokout which nearly killed me, went to buy some paints to enter The Archibald Animal Portraitur prise. I was spurred on when I saw Robert Juniper was judging it as last year he gave me a HIghly recommended for my fabulous paininting of a sausage dog called CLOUD. So got two canvas and some more paints and gor a fab picute of a dog called cooper but nicknamed KILLER as he tried to scoff my coffeee on the way home from the beach this am and i am going to paint him and my cat SARAH. I then got word my parents might pop in this afternnon. I have seen them twice this year and they gave the three of us a 100 voucher for christmas so thats 33.33 dollars each to blow. I am a single parent with no extra help just for once you would think they might help out a bit.. But I gusess people dont change. They ghave made me a great mum thats all I know. Anyway I have poured a wine the boy has not contacteded me for 2 days since i text shoould we go for a walk and swim and he text back NO. Nothing more he ovbiously dosent wish to sort thiungs out. He also told me I should stick to plans and not keep changing them and he got huffy when I said Please pull over here x2 as I saw friends on the side of the road on xmAS day and he haffed and he puffed....... anyway I have poured a glass and am going to have a cat nap before facing the negative parents who will ask me why I am not working. They think I should work every day.. I am only dreaming of Kythira and painting and tonight Izzy gets her TEE results so am praying she gets into VET. She deserves too as she is bright and a good kid and I love her madly.... Tilly on the other hand is on the mend after spending xmas in Casualty with a temp of39.8 and has been at a friends so I am home on my own and I love it.. At step class I felt so miserable I wounder when a year is up of my last insurance policy i took out.................